If any of these signs apply to you, you might be a faux-President dictator…
- You live in a “presidential palace”
- Your government has a Ministry of Information
- Your police forces are structured nationally rather than locally
- You have won an election by more than 80 percent of the vote
- Your Ministry of the Interior has its own paramilitary forces
- You came to power via an “emergency”
- Your BFFs are generals and spies
- You’re constantly worried those same BFFs are going to assassinate you
- You have ever worn a green or brown uniform to a press event
- Whenever there are protests in your country, it’s because of “foreign infiltrators”
- You lack a vice president for multiple decades
- You or members of your government were trained by any of the CIA, KGB/NKVD, Mossad, ISI, or SAS (bonus points for graduates of the School of the Americas)
- You’ve survived multiple assassination attempts
- Barack Obama is embarrassed to be your friend, but George Bush calls you every weekend and mispronounces your name
- Buildings, bridges, dams, or ships are named after you before you die
- Halliburton is significant foreign corporation in your country
- You HATE HATE HATE the internet
- “Disappearance” ranks as a cause of death in your country
- The United States uses your prisons to torture terrorist “suspects”
- Your father was the last president (or your son is supposed to be the next president)
- China has ever used its UN Security Council veto in your favor
Got more? Leave them in the comments or @ejesse on Twitter
